We'll Wait Until Goodbye
by mccord-moments
Summary: A visit to St. Anne's leaves the McCords preparing to say "Goodbye." Set in the present.
1. Chapter 1

**More to come, this is a short introductory chapter, for which reviews are appreciated.**

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St. Anne's gave the McCords a private room. It was a dulled-grey monotone room, more desirable than the flickering fluorescent waiting room with its sterile, white anxiety. For close to three hours the McCords waited in that more desirable room-waiting for word on the operation. Elizabeth kept an eye on her children from the corner arm of the couch, taking the phone call when needed. She listened as Stevie paced back and forth on the tiled floor, watched as Alison cried into her knees on the floor; and wondered about her son as he stared out of the hospital window. Although much was silent, tensions were becoming more apparent as the structure of time fell into obscurity.

The knock on the door took everyone by surprise.

"Madam Secretary," a woman's voice called from the doorway.

"Y-yes," Elizabeth answered, quickly sitting up.

"Hi, my name is Margaret Andersen, I'm one of the surgeons-" She was cut off as Elizabeth hastily rose to her feet.

"-How is he?" she sighed in urgency, her ambivalence was evident.

"Ma'am, your husband is still in a critical condition after the surgery. We'll continue to do everything we can… I know this wasn't the news you were hoping for but we'll keep you updated, if you need anything in the meantime, don't hesitate to call a nurse.

As the surgeon left she turned to her children, their eyes were fixed on her, she could see the concern in each of her children.

"Mom?" Stevie broke the weight of the equivocal visit.

"Yeah, baby?" Elizabeth's voice cracked with weakness. She tried to avert her eyes from her children as she looked straight out the window in front of her, in a rather trance-like state.

"... Is Dad going to be okay?" Of course, Stevie knew that was a ridiculous question to ask-as if she was seven and needed a reductive answer to put her mind at ease.

Elizabeth simply sat back down without saying a word. Alison then looked to her sister, more concerned and distraught then she was before.

"Is he going to be okay, Mom?" Alison did need the reductive answer.

"Ali…" Stevie hissed, with wide eyes of agitation.

"What?" Alison panicked, "I need to know if he's okay. He could be… Stevie, I need to know. I need to know, and she's… she's-" Stevie took her sister by the shoulder and lead her out of the room, Jason was quick to follow too.

"Jase… You can't just leave her, in there… all alone," Stevie groaned.

"I can't deal with her," Jason's pitch rose in defense, "If she gets all mushy… I can't, Stevie, I don't know what to do. Please, I can't go back."

"Fine," Stevie huffed, "But can we all agree to pull it together for Mom?" She looked each sibling in the eye and wiped the stray tear from Alison's cheek.

"Yes," the two agreed.

"And Ali? It's going to be okay… You know how Mom gets with this stuff. All we can do is be there for her… Just stay calm."

"But Stevie…"

"He's going to be okay," Stevie assured before she turned to walk back in. All three children entered in silence, unsure of what to do or say. All three settled back to their initial arrangement.

Stevie studied her mother from the corner of the room: She looked so vulnerable, so full of sadness, and so exposed. This wasn't like her mother, she had her usual fortress in even the worst of times. This was different. There was something wrong.

"Need anything, Mom?" Stevie asked.

Elizabeth was quick to answer, "No, no," Elizabeth kept her eyes on Stevie, knowing she needed to finish her thought, "I don't know. I… I don't…" She kept her eyes on Stevie. She could feel her face warm with sadness. The tears were nonnegotiable now.

Stevie and Alison rushed to her side, joining their mother on the small, hospital couch. They cried alongside, bearing their faces into Elizabeth.

"I can't…" Elizabeth choked, "That surgery was supposed…" She wept, all three wept-reality was becoming all too real.

In that moment, Jason turned his head, "Hey, he survived a radioactive bomb. He can survive a stupid car accident," He laughed. Suddenly, the room fell quiet, all three women looked up. Jason knew that he misspoke.

"Way to be a complete asshole," Alison asserted, "That's what you have to say? Do you not realize that Dad could die?"

"I-I'm-I'm sorry, Jason brushed it off, "I didn't mean that."

"You didn't mean what?" Alison questioned.

Jason grew small, "I didn't mean… I didn't-I just made a joke."

"You made a joke while Mom's visibly upset… You wanted to make a joke?

"No…" Jason's face grew tight, he turned back to the window in an attempt to mask his grief. He took a moment to compose himself, biting his tongue, blinking back tears; but the moment he opened his mouth to speak, all was lost. As he felt the tears break his barrier of control, his anger took over.

"I know! I know what's going to happen," he choked, "Alison. I made a joke… I made a stupid joke." Letting himself weep, Jason ran to the door and fell against the wall.

This was it. This was the harsh reality.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Brought to you tonight by my three canceled classes this past week. Cheers.**

Elizabeth slowly sat up and found the energy within her to stand. "I need to go talk to him. I'll be back," she muttered softly. She made her exit slowly, carrying herself almost in a daze. She knew full well of her surroundings, the situation; but her energy was beginning to drain.

"Jase?" She sighed as she noticed her son—red-faced and tucked against the outside wall. His cries became audible at the sound of her voice. They were loud and heavy cries—choppy and spontaneous.

"Talk to me Jase," She whispered, with barely enough energy herself.

He looked over at his mother, leaning against the doorway, and choked on his tears once more. "It was just a joke," he cried, throwing his head back against the wall, "It-it was just a jok-ke."

"I know, baby," Elizabeth whispered, taking a few steps closer.

"I don't want him… they stopped the bleeding," He wept, "When they stopped the bleeding… he… ev-everything...was ok-ay. And then… I don't want him to die, Mom. I saw him... this morning, and… and—"

"Shhh," She soothed as she knelt in front of him, "None of us want him to die."

".. But what if he does?" Jason took a breath and looked up at his mother.

Elizabeth desperately tried to keep her composure. She looked away and then turned back to him, "I can't think about that, Jase."

Jason threw his head against the wall. He shut his eyes and threw it back once more. "Please, Jase… Stop," Elizabeth softly requested.

There was a shift. She saw it in his eyes. The focused, frozen glare, averted across the hall.

"He'll die—he's going to die! Can't you get it? Can't you see? He's going to die, Mom." Jason looked directly at her, a look of fear washed over his face. He could tell she was trying to hold back the tears. He paused, and his voice became fragile, "That surgery was supposed…"

Elizabeth took hold of her son's hand and began to cry herself, "I know, I know, buddy."

"I…" He gasped for air, "don't want…"

They both wept. As uncomfortable as it was, Elizabeth could not find the Energy to move. She held onto her son's hand and let the tears flow. It was the first time that day she did away with any concern of vulnerability—she didn't have the energy. When all had calmed, Jason looked up.

"Um, Ma'am?" a voice called from behind. Elizabeth turned her head to find Blake lingering to the side. "Ma'am," He looked over at Jason and back to Elizabeth, "I'm sorry for doing this to you right now but, The President is here… He wanted to check—"

"Yeah," Elizabeth said as she let go of Jason's hand, and wiped her eyes. She looked at Jason for confirmation and he silently nodded in response. "Blake?" she asked quietly.

"Yes, Ma'am?"

"Could you give me a hand?"

"Ah, yes, Ma'am," he said as he offered her his hand, stabilizing her as she got up.

"Thank you, Blake," She said with a weak smile. Looking down the hall, she turned to him, "Is he here—"

President Dalton and the Secret Service rounded the corner and made their way down the hall to meet Elizabeth."

"Mr. President," Was all she could manage.

"Bess," He smiled, "How's Henry?"

She paused, and fiddled with her ring, "We're-ah—we're still waiting."

"We're all pulling for him, Bess."

"Thank you Mr. President." She then looked over at Jason and motioned for him to stand. As he did, Conrad pointed at him, "And son, you have an honorable father, the man has so much integrity." At that moment, Jason's lip began to tremble.

"Come here," Conrad motioned to Jason, and Jason gradually walk over, not exactly sure what to make of the request. Conrad took him in for a hug and then looked him in the eye, "You've got to have faith, Jason," His head shook with resolve, "For those you love, you've got to have faith. Got it?

Jason nodded his head in affirmation with a certain air of humorous dismissal on his face.

"I'm sorry, Bess, I should get out of your way. Please, let me know if anything changes," He smiled and pulled her in for a hug.

Elizabeth sighed as she held on to him, she could relax for a moment—feel comforted for a moment. Conrad was there for her—like he always had been. He wasn't just The President or CIA director, they were as close to family as they could.

"Thank you, Mr. President," Her eyes gleamed with a slight smile as she pulled away. He waved goodbye as he walked back down the hall. She simply mouthed 'Thank You' in return.

"Mom?" Jason asked.

"Yeah… baby," She reluctantly to turned around, not wanting to deal with the complexity of questions nor the distressing dialogue.

"... I'm gonna go back in…"

"Yeah, okay, baby," she smiled, "I'll be in shortly."

Elizabeth needed a moment to herself, time to collect her thoughts, and solitude to process. She began to pace gently, down and back the hospital hallway. She had been here many times before with Henry, but her faith was running out on this one. They were simply out of chances. Her mind was stuck. There was something about the future that she traveled back to, as she paced. She tried—She tried to get paced it, though something kept telling her to prepare. The problem was she couldn't—she didn't know how. She didn't know how to guide her children, she didn't know how to say goodbye to him: the man who had protected her—loved her—and had shared with her three beautiful gifts. She couldn't, she wasn't ready—and she never would be.

Her thoughts lost their focus, and more then she ever had that day, she sobbed. She slid down the wall, her cries heavy and painful

She took a breath when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up.

"I thought you might want some water," Stevie offered.

"No-n-no... I'm-I… I'm fine,"

"Mom… You need to drink something," Stevie insisted, "Drink."

"W-when, when did you beco-me the b-b-oss?" She cried.

"Drink," Stevie repeated and she gave her mother the paper cup. When she was done, Elizabeth gave the cup back to her daughter.

"Thank you," She smiled. Stevie wiped her mother's cheeks, stained with tears, and lined with mascara. She hugged her mother, rocking her as her cries calmed.

"Do you want us to stay here? It's getting late." Stevie whispered as she stroked her mother's hair.

"No," Elizabeth said, straightening up to look at her daughter, "No, I want you to go home and get some rest… Bring some of Dad's things, and get some rest."

"You sure?" Elizabeth nodded.

"Mom, we can totally stay here to be with you… Ali and Jason want to st—"

"Please, Stevie, can you please just do this for me?" She started to cry again, "I-I might lose him. And that scares the hell out of me… so please, please…"

"Yeah alright" Stevie hugged her once more, "I'll go get them."

Stevie called Alison and Jason out in the hall.

"Thank you, you guys. I'll call you if anything happens… get some rest, and-ah… pray for him.

One by one they hugged their mother Goodbye, each holding on a little too tight.

As they left, she collected the blankets and settled in for a long night


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm sorry this update took so long. Prince Henrik's death really took a lot out o me (TMI). I'm also sorry this one happens to be as short as it is... oh, well. I Promise more in the future.**

Elizabeth constrained herself to the corner of the couch. It appeared larger to her then than it had been… She caught her thoughts. She needed to get out of the banal trance and focus on reality. It was something she had a great mastery of-ever since the age of fifteen. She learned to prepare herself before she gave herself over to hope.

Gently closing her eyes, Elizabeth leaned her head against her fist. As she opened her eyes, she forced herself to think about the dreadful events of that day.

She thought about the call. Accidents were becoming a more common occurrence with Henry, but when she set the phone down on the receiver she couldn't shake herself of the feeling that this one was different-even still as she sat on the couch.

"Why did you have to do this?" She whispered as her fingers brushed over her lips."

She thought about the nurse-the first person she met with any solid information on her husband's condition. A concussion and a heart attack, the result of crashing into a row of trees.

Elizabeth sighed, the idea of a heart attack… She couldn't. Henry was perfectly healthy for his age… but maybe that was it-they were both getting older. What really worried her was the unsuccessful first stent-that was supposed to be it. Now, she waited once more.

What if he died. She needed to let herself go there. She thought of her kids immediately. Stevie was grown and was the much-needed anchor. But if Henry went… she couldn't look at her little girl. Elizabeth held the sweetest of memories of Stevie and her dad. She was his first princess-headstrong-but nevertheless his princess. It brought a smile to her face for a moment to think of their messes made in the kitchen, their little book clubs, and the stories Stevie would bring back from the days spent with her daddy at UVA.

Sadness carved over Elizabeth's gentle smile as she thought of Alison. She knew exactly how Alison would react and it wasn't particularly comforting knowledge. Alison was their emotional one-the child that would always run to their room.

Elizabeth broke down.

She doubted herself. If Henry died… Alison…

She cried. It was becoming real again, and she knew it needed to be. Elizabeth knew she needed to visit a future without Henry-she needed to know, if only in her imagination.

Through her tears, she turned to Jason. Her baby, who she knew little of in the present. He was removed from her-she never meant it to be that way. He was inseparable from her when he was younger. A smiled appeared once more. He didn't take a liking to Henry back then. He was hers. But he was less of hers, today. Henry managed him now-his volatility, his snark-she couldn't, she didn't know how.

If he died… she would lose her holding on the world. It could happen, there was no use playing herself there.

Somewhere she would find the strength to move on into a different life.

She fell asleep by thinking about his smile: that big grin he saved for her. It was the one waiting for her on her wedding day at the end of the aisle. His hands shaking, his cheeks stained with tears-through quivering lips, he held a big grin. As she reached him he leaned over and whispered a breathy "Hi."

That was the man she fell in love with and that was the man she was in fear of losing.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: It's been awhile, that it has. Though, I always write at strange times… finals week starts Wednesday. So… Here you go:**

Elizabeth was certain her children had arrived when she heard Alison's voice.

"He's going to be okay, Ali," Stevie assured, "Which room is it? 215 or 216?"

"216," Jason replied.

"Great… could one of you get the door? Since I'm the one who has ro carry all this."

"Aye aye, Stevie," Jason replied as he knocked and took the handle.

Elizabeth turned to greet them as they entered. She set the fleece blanket beside on the cushion. "Hi, guys," she smiled with a warmth. She was relieved to see her children. As much as they needed her, she needed them, and she was thankful to at least have that genuine, happy emotion.

"We brought some stuff," Alison smiled.

"Great, well, Stevie, you can just put all that on the chair, Elizabeth said, pointing to the isolated hospital chair in the corner of the room.

Setting the pile of clothes down, Stevie looked at her mother, "Did you sleep Okay?"

"Hopefully you all slept better."

Jason moved from the entrance of the room to sit next to sit next to Elizabeth.

"Mom?" He asked quietly

"Yeah, baby," She ran a hand through his messy hair.

"... Any news on Dad?" Stevie and Alison both turned their heads.

Elizabeth sat up and glanced at each of her children. "They're going to try bypass later on today. So, we'll have to wait."

"Is it really that bad," Alison asked, moving next to her sister in the corner.

"They're going to do what they need to," Elizabeth assured.

"But he was perfectly healthy-"

"Noodle, he wasn't," they told me earlier this morning that his heart was weak, and that they think the additional stress from the crash is was set it off."

"What's… what's wrong with him? Jason turned to his mother.

"He has a blockage in his left coronary artery."

"So, like they're going to sew around and do all that stuff," Jason looked at her like he needed an answer.

"She ran a hand through his hair, once more, "Yeah, baby."

"When's it starting?" Stevie asked.

"Two… it should take about an hour. We still have time to wait… so if you guys want to go back home or if-"

"No, we want to stay," Stevie asserted looking at booth Alison and Jason.

"Do you know how it happened?" Jason asked.

"Cmon, Jase, back off on the questions," Stevie corrected as she shot her brother a look from across the room.

"What? I just want to know. Am I being insensitive or something, Mom?" He looked at Elizabeth wide-eyed and anxious, waiting to know if he committed another offense.

"No, no," she chuckled, placing an arm around her son and brought him in closer, "I know what you know-I haven't been told anything else."

"Can we see him before…"

"No, not right now. They're working, Jase. They're doing what they can."

The room fell silent for only a few seconds before Stevie spoke, "So… look what we brought." Stevie held onto the cherished McCord Scrabble board, "So, while we wait, maybe we could play?"

"Yeah, yeah, that sounds great," Elizabeth smiled. She got up and moved the table over to the couch, and sat down, once more.

"Are you sure you're up for a game?"Alison asked.

"I would love a game with all of my kids. All we can do is wait, Noodle, and I can't keep staring at these walls much longer. So get over here with that game, you two."

Alison and Stevie did as they were instructed, and began setting the board.

Elizabeth smiled, "I remember the old college days when your Dad and I would stay up on the weekends playing a mean game of Scrabble."

Although, the McCord children had heard all of the many variations of "college scrabble," they went along.

"Yeah," Stevie smiled, "and who played better?"

"Oh, like you don't know… I was. Listen, your Dad's not bad, I just happen to have an edge."

"I can't believe you guys get so competitive over this game," Jason smirked.

"Oh, yeah?," Elizabeth put on a mocking defense, "And end what's wrong with that? I seem to remember we made a pretty good team back in the day…"

"...I was six."

"I loved those family Scrabble nights! Dad and I would always dominate," Alison added.

"Hey, Dad was mine before he was yours, Ali. If you want to see true domination… I'm just saying."

"Those nights were everything, though," Alison smiled.

.

"They really were. And now, you guys are all grown. You're out of college… And wow," Elizabeth sighed as the tears started to well up. Stevie went over and wrapped her arms around her mother.

"It's okay," Stevie whispered as she placed a kiss on top of her head.

Elizabeth closed her eyes and shook her head in response, "I know." Her voice was weak and faint in that moment. Alison looked at Stevie and then rushed over, kneeling down and placing an arm around her mother. The two sisters then looked over at Jason, who was trying to look anywhere else but their direction, but Stevie caught his eye. Jason reached out and placed a hand on Elizabeth's arm.

"...He'll be down in the kitchen next week wanting to teach me a lesson," Jason added.

Though, Elizabeth began to cry.

Stevie tightened her embrace and Alison stood to grab the box of tissue across the room.

Taking the tissue from the box, Stevie wiped her mother's eyes. "Here, mom, take this," She instructed.

"Aww," Alison cooed, rubbing Elizabeth's shoulder, "It's okay, mom."

"Thank you… thank you," Elizabeth breathed as dried her eyes. She again looked at each of her children. "I'm… I'm so sorry...for… for all of this," she whispered. Reaching up to Stevie, Elizabeth kissed her cheek and did the same with Alison, and finally Jason.

"I love your Dad more than I think any of you know. This… this is taking a lot out of me, and it means everything to me that all of you are here-"

There was a knock at the door.

"Madam Secretary," a familiar voice greeted.

"Yes," Elizabeth replied as she stood and ushered the woman inside.

"There's sometime before the surgery, Henry's still a little groggy but you can go in and see him if you'd like."

"Yes," She gasped, "Can… can the come with me?" She motioned for the kids to stand. In turn, the shocked McCords all hugged their mother.

"I'm sorry, Ma'am, it's just you for right now," Margaret replied.

The bright smiles sunk a little, but Elizabeth hugged them each. "I'll let you know how he is when I get back. Okay, sweets?"

They each shook their head, and Elizabeth walked out of the room with the surgeon.

As she walked, her spirits lifted-there was hope for the first time. Elizabeth was washed in a peculiar feeling as if she was being pushed forward by a force. She was nervous, she was excited-she was scared.

"So he's in this room right up here," Margaret pointed ahead.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: It's short but I felt comfortable with this. Please, let me know how it is.**

Elizabeth gazed at her husband from the doorway. He looked tired and weak, but he was awake, lying in the hospital bed across from her. His arm was cut as was his face, the gash across his forehead was more than apparent from where she stood. She slowly entered the room. The sharp click of her heels caught Henry's attention. As he slowly picked his head up, Elizabeth moved hastily toward him.

"Hey," She signed reaching out a hand to catch his head, "It's okay, babe. Please don't move." She smoothed his hair.

"Elizabeth," He breathed as he studied her face.

"Yeah, baby,"

"I'm sorry, Elizabeth," He managed, once more. Elizabeth, her eyes already rimmed in a faint red, began to tear up. She tried to hold still, she looked away for a brief moment, but as she opened her mouth to speak, she lost her fragile composure.

"I know," She cried. She quickly wiped her eyes with the side of her hand, "I know." They looked at each other-both gazing at the eyes of the other as if to preserve the sight to memory. The room fell silent as their eyes remained focused-fixated on a long-familiar love. Elizabeth gently brushed Henry's cheek, a stray tear rolling down his coarse skin.

"We need to talk… about if-"

"Don't… Henry, I-Please, don't," Elizabeth breathed.

"Elizabeth, if I don't make it, you need-"

"Henry… I'm not going to talk about that...right now" Her tears fell, once more as her voice became weak with emotion, "I-I-I can't-"

"-Please, sit," Henry said pointing the chair that was slightly to her left. Elizabeth looked back in confusion, then dragged the chair forward, and fell into it.

She was concerned as she leaned in and took his hand-it was all over her face. "Does it hurt?" she asked in an attempt to change the dire subject.

"A lot," He admitted through a small smile and gave her hand a squeeze, "I'm just glad I get to

see you."

"I am too, Henry… I love you so much," She whispered as she kissed his hand in hers, "... If you left me, Henry… I wouldn't… I wouldn't know what to do… I…" Elizabeth began to cry and this time she couldn't stop, she lowered her head onto their hands and wept.

"Elizabeth," he sighed, tears beginning to form in his own eyes-

-"Please don't leave me, Henry. That's not part of the deal," She wept.

"Look at me, Elizabeth." She picked her head up, her face a dark pink, her cheeks fully stained. "You're everything to me, I can't," He stopped and directed his eyes away from her, "I can't promise anything." Henry's tears began to fall.

"I want you to grow real old with me, Henry" Elizabeth smiled through her tears, as she reached up and wiped her husband's.

"I want that, too," He smiled back as he tried his best to move his arm and tuck a stray strand of Elizabeth's hair behind her ear. "... Absolutely perfect," He whispered.

Elizabeth's lips turned into a coy smile, as she picked up her head once more to meet his gaze. But as she looked into his amber eyes, concern swept over her face.

"What?" he asked.

She looked at him and her mouth opened, "... I'm scared, Henry."

He turned his head so he could see her better, "I am too, babe," He admitted.

She smoothed his hair over and over again as her lip trembled-as her cheeks were again stained by heavy tears. It was as if they said everything they needed to and all that could be said. All that was left to do was to wait for a nurse to arrive, and to say one, final goodbye.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Yes, it's been a while and in that time I lost interest, got busy and all that, but I wanted to update. I'm sorry for it being this late, hopefully, I can put something together that suits my old vision. And so, with some deep western/southern gothic music playing in the background, here it is:**

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Elizabeth's motorcade pulled up to the house in the evening. She was home for the first time in what felt like an eternity. Henry's surgery had taken longer than expected and hospital staff had requested that he had time to rest before she visited. Although, she had every intention of spending the night she needed the rest. There was no use trying to survive a hospital night if she couldn't see Henry. She was home without him, but he was still with her… with them, and that was all that truly mattered.

Alison was in the kitchen pinning A long stretch of silver drape cloth to her sister. Elizabeth stood in the dining room for a moment, taking in the scene before both of her daughters looked up. "Hi, mom" Alison greeted with a fragile but enthusiastic smile on her face.

"Hi," Elizabeth answered a bit dazed. She pointed her coffee mug at them, "What's this?"

"Stevie's helping me with a project." Alison held up her sketchbook, "See? I'm just checking if this design works."

"Ah," Elizabeth replied as she rubbed her forehead. Stevie stepped away from the table and pins, letting the cloth fall as she walked over. "How is he?" She asked. Stevie could see the exhaustion and uncertainty in her mother's eyes and knew to prepare herself. "I don't know." The sigh affirmed the emotions in her eyes and Stevie decided not to press further. "Where's Jase?" Elizabeth added.

"Room?" Stevie shrugged. That was always a safe bet.

"Alright, I'll go find him, you two clean up when you're done," She pointed once more at the mess of pins, pencils, and fabric on the table.

"Yep," Stevie whispered to herself as her mother turned toward the stairs.

Elizabeth knocked on the door, she could hear the gunfire and shouting far before she ever reached it. "Yeah," the routine signal that she was allowed in. She opened the door to find the standard scene: Jason leaning against the end of his bed, headphones around his neck, controller in his hand, as he stared at the monitor. "Hey, I just wanted to let you know I'm home," Elizabeth yawned. Jason spun around to face her. "Hey… Did he have surgery?" He asked concerned—but he already knew the answer. And he knew he asked a dumb question, but he wanted the simple answer. "Yeah, he did." That was one to add to the 'Positives' Column. He gave his mother a small grin before she went to shut the door.

A second later he turned back to his monitor, but then spun back around. "Mom," he called out. "Still right here," she replied as she opened the newly closed door. He looked up at her, eyes wide. "Is Dad annoyed with me—is he disappointed? He doesn't understand—" Elizabeth sighed and brought her hand to her forehead, once more. "Jase, Honey, can we talk about this in the morning? I'm tired and need to get to bed… I—" She could see the sadness and vulnerability surface as his face turned a warm pink. It was an old but rare sign of her son's fast-changing emotions. She took it as an invitation to enter and sat down on the edge of the bed. "I… I need to know, mom. He's always annoyed or frustrated with me," He got up and started pacing, "and I need to know just in case."

"Shh," She patted the patch of quilt beside her.

"I can't," He throw his hands in the air, his voice rising another pitch and notch, "It's like everything I do… I disappoint him, or I piss off Stevie and Ali and then he takes their side. He looked at her for a response, she lowered her eyes to the quilt and smoothed it over. "He loves you," Elizabeth said as she stood. She walked over to her son and wrapped him in a gentle hug, "He loves you. You're a challenge," She chuckled, "You always have been, but he loves that about you, Jase. She felt as he began to quiver, felt his tears on her shoulder, and heard his shaky breath. Pulling away, she looked at his puffy, tear-stained face-it was rare, but it was true. A smile crept onto her face as she wiped the tears off his cheeks, "He's still here… can't cry yet."

"I know," He wept through a smile to match his mother's, bringing his own pam to his eyelid.

"You'll be okay," she soothed, ruffling his hair. He gave her one last hug before saying Goodnight.

The next morning was a game of 'Wait By the Phone." All four healthy McCords sat and waited in the kitchen. And finally the call came through at 10:03 am, It was coveted time for a visit.

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 **AN: The problem with updating is that I now have to update sometime in the future. I hope this is somewhat entertaining. I get hung-up with myself always going back to Jason, but if you ask me, that's what the show's missing.**


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